With the birth of our third girl around the corner, I have been reminiscing about the other two births and wanted to share their stories with you!
These are the stories that I wrote up within the days after each were born… they are raw… they are forever marked in my heart… they are what made me a mother.
Written in 2013 shortly after the birth of our first born:
It all started out as a normal Friday … I had a weird feeling because I started feeling my stomach harden and it seemed to be on regular intervals, but I had no pain so I figured it was just Braxton Hicks.. Anyway I requested to work from home that day, suddenly I woke up and had the BIGGEST urge to clean our house – I was a skip and hop away from scrubbing our baseboards! Woah. I thought it was all because I was expecting my mother to come visit; ) but nope, it was nesting in full force !! (( If it was due to my mom coming, I probably would have showered at the VERY least instead of answering the door like a hot mess, right? )) Anyway along with working from home, cleaning, napping, AND forgetting to look like a normal human being that day, I also forgot to eat- ahh! The last time I had eaten was 11:00am.
Anyway, my mom came in and was all excited to meet Emilia the next day and I kept thinking “Man, she just doesn’t get it… it is super rare babies are due on their due date!! She’s got another thing coming when she has to make another trip down next weekend ” haha little did I KNOW… Well, we went grocery shopping to make Pumpkin Pie ( my FAVORITE thing to eat during the fall ). So we got home and realized we should probably eat dinner at some point ( 7:00pm ) .. Matt requested Long Horn. At this point I don’t really care, I just needed food. NOW! haha . (Ironic Part: I told Matt that he REALLY needed to get some towels in the cars and line our seats with trash bags haha – to which he responded “nah, it’ll be fine” — we were so convinced that I would have Emilia the following week)
– Water Breaks –
WELL we finally get to Long Horn and met my cousin Lauren and her roommate Liz there . I almost wanted to CRY MY EYES out when they told us it was going to be a 45 minute wait .. welllll my mom decided to try the “pregnancy card” and told them I needed to eat .. I was 40 weeks pregnant and being hungry was no joke .. they sympathized and we were sat within 5 minutes after that! HAHA .. anyway we FINALLY get seated and order our food .. a salad comes .. and I start to feast like a starving lion haha poor salad.. well .. all the sudden mid fork in mouth I felt “POP . POP .” (8:30pm) and thought “hmm.. that was.. no.. that can’t be … oh no… maybe it was just her moving ..?” so I got up verrrryyy slowly while asking my mom to come to the restroom with me (of course she nodded signaling “ok” to me but in all reality she didn’t hear me) haha anyway .. I got up and as I was walking away (happy no water was coming out haha so therefore thought – my water hadn’t broke) I realized my mom was still sitting at the booth .. I signaled her to come with me and she yells “WHAT?” riiiight as I was requesting her to come with me…. GUSSSHHHH … RIGHT smack in the middle of Long Horn Steakhouse ! I tried to just hide behind one of the booths but as I was trying to casually walk away – the lady sitting next to us yells ” OH MY GOD, HER WATER JUST BROKE !! “ … oh well … Hi everyone in the restaurant, enjoy the constant leakage of water and my bright red, no probably purple face!! Haha it was the longest walk to the bathroom of my life as every stranger was saying “GOOD LUCK!” and “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” while water was just leaking all over the floor .. really cute ** Waddle Waddle, Splash Splash, Waddle Waddle **
I get into the bathroom and of course someone was in the big stall (doing her makeup mind you) .. but not only that my belly had gotten SO BIG I couldn’t SHUT THE DOOR in the small stall!! (EMBARRASSING) haha I nervously stated that my water broke and I really needed that stall haha the lady ran out and my cousin and I just laughed.
I IMMEDIATELY called my doula, heart pounding, *THIS IS IT!! My baby girl is coming… wait … am I ready? – look around, OH YEAH.. LETS GO*
… I look down and one word: meconium .. I freaked out – called my Doula and of COURSE Kelly calmed my nerves, it was insane .. she goes “Nicole, relax your shoulders” and RIGHT when I was about to respond with “I’m fine” I realized my shoulders were about as hard as rocks I was tightening them so hard! Haha – yup she is that amazing. I relaxed my shoulders, slowed my breath down and headed home .. of course after awkwardly requesting a clean bar towel to hold between my legs while walking out of the restaurant 😉 … cute.
When I got home I started feeling something with contractions, not only that – the meconium was getting thicker than I realized at first .. I started to freak out but then remember the phrase “ Meconium Happens “ haha and felt a little better .. buuut I was still pretty nervous .. and my Doula said she’d meet me at the hospital at that point.
Oh man, contractions picked up big time, I was definitely feeling some crazy feelings at that point and told Matt “Now is NOT THE TIME to drive like a TURTLE!!” .. little did I know, he – well he was going fast – we will just say and had his emergency lights on.
We got there and right when Kelly arrived I felt super calm .. it was an amazing feeling !
– Triage –
About 9:45pm we got in and I was at a 5 and 90% .. werrrd! Haha I was pretty pumped considering things were still manageable. Then I got hooked up to monitor little bit’s heart rate … all I saw on the screen was … nothing … I turned GHOST WHITE and looked at Matt (also ghost white) as she waved the little wand thing all over my belly…
All of the feelings from losing our baby last year had risen back to surface and I’m pretty sure I was choking on my heart at one point .. it was the LONGEST few minutes of my life!! I just kept staring at that screen … I wanted to die … there was NO WAY I got this far and lost her … then “ OH it isn’t plugged in! “ oh . my . goodness!! I was so frustrated and relieved at the same time lol (I will say, that nurse WAS IN FACT one of my favorites, but just not at that moment) haha
– GO TIME –
I got into the room and BAM contractions started kicking in like CRAZY – I didn’t even get in to a hospital gown at that point, I was like “UMMM SHOWER!” so I jumped in – and must I say – that was my FAVORITE place to be I told Kel that I started feeling more intense pressure and apparently jumped to an 7/8 in 15 minutes! Oh man. I was over the shower and jumped back into my dress and on to my birth ball! Ohhh yeah buddy!! … ok and it is about that time everything became a BLUR, I guess I went into my “zone” .. anyway apparently my manners kicked up to a strange level ( I mean, I am not even that nice not in labor ) I kept saying things like “May I please have some more ice?, Thank you [ Insert smile here ]” at that point Matt also gave me a kiss on my cheek and for some reason it helped so I asked him to keep kissing my face till the contraction stopped!! Haha weird.
All of the sudden I felt SERIOUS pressure and Kel encouraged me to squat .. I looked at her like she was crazy haha but did it and pheewwww was I glad I did during that contraction!
I jumped on the bed and started feeling the urge to push … let me just say it was an urge like NO OTHER but SUCH an amazing feeling … I could not control it … (by the way my AMAZING nurse had been on her knees monitoring me the WHOLE labor so I could move around – she was absolutely an angel) .. My Doctor came in and I was almost at a 10 , just a small lip left. I was encouraged to go with my urges, but not push beyond what the contraction gave. WELL let me just say I let out a big ol’ Lion of a growl and my eyes got as BIG as Saucers as I looked around and said “SORRY!” Haha I ended up saying sorry so many times, my nurse said I was ALL OUT of “Sorry’s “ for the night haha the next time I pushed I went to say “SORRY” again and corrected myself with “NO. no. NOPE. I’m NOT sorry ” Haha!!
I also kept thinking of Emilia and what a crazy experience this was for her, and how she had to do some serious work, I would talk to her and tell her she was doing such a great job, and that she’d be here soon and I couldn’t wait to meet her.. (Em really did do a good job!! )
There were times I would be thinking “Oh man, I need water” but couldn’t vocalize it and no joke, those were the times Kel just came up with water !! It was INSANE to me how she knew exactly what I needed and when !! Heating pad, counter pressure, water, encouragement.. I don’t think I requested anything – she was just THERE for me and it was amazing . Especially the verbal encouragement and affirmations .. those were my favorite !
Well it was time to PUSH for REAL and I started getting a little nervous to meet Em and a little tired … I looked at Kel with a face that said it all and was informed that I needed “THE MOTIVATOR” I’m sitting there thinking Oh gee, what is “the motivator”? (sounds creepy) haha then a GIANT mirror was rolled out.. Matt was like “WAHOOO!!” because he wanted to watch the birth but be by my side at the same time.. and that gave him exactly what he wanted Me? I was a little reluctant and shook my head and looked away haha! I gave a GOOD push and heard “LOOK AT ALL OF THAT HAIR ON HER HEAD” … my eyes welled up with tears … she has hair ?? A lot of Hair?! … it hit me … my daughter … this little wiggle worm was finally coming… I was about to meet her. I wanted to see .. so I looked and I’m glad I did (it really WAS a motivator, because I was like a champ after that and after being the first person to touch her cute little fuzzy head )
I kept pushing for a while and when I started feeling at my wits end I just looked at Kelly as a contraction came and was tempted to say “I can’t do this” but she gave me a smile which encouraged me and I instead yelled (err grunt yelled, ha) “ I GOT THIS !! “
In the beginning of my last push.. the most AMAZING thing happened.. my doctor said “Nicole, would you like to catch your daughter?” TEARS . IN . MY . EYES . heart … RACING I said YES!! … and I reached down as I pushed my daughter out
… I caught her at 2:59am on October 5th (her due date)
I pulled her to my chest as I laid back and cried ..
She … was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.. as she let out (not a scream) but a little “ah heh, uh goo” oh my little dainty blue smurf baby I will never forget that moment and am forever thankful to my doctor for letting me be the first to hold my baby
.. and what was the first thing I say? Of course something awkward .. “ Matt , she has your HAIRLINE!!” ( I mean, seriously?! ) Haha
I felt SO GOOD right after having her I was on a serious HIGH .. I was like really? That was it? Psssh Lets do it again!! Haha (I am not even joking, it was ridiculous) I could take on the world.
It was a beautiful birth and we were soo blessed to have an amazing support system around us ! We are blessed to be her parents and I am one proud momma!!!
Anyway that is the story in a nutshell – a very very big nutshell.